But it's My Birthday
by The-Doctor's-Invader-at-221B
Summary: It's Gir's birthday, and no one seems to remember, not even Master... Going through all those memories, he thought that his very best friend would've...


Gir had been so excited for today. It was what everyone here called a 'birthday', but in his case it would be his 'made-day', he supposed. He remembered when he was first created by his Master Zim's leaders, the tall ones who were all nice-looking with their pretty red and purple outfits. Master liked them so much!

* * *

When Gir's circuits first registered, he heard badly-suppressed snickers. Standing over him were two tall figures, very tall ones, who were almost identical; save for their eyes and outfits, which differed between the two in shades of lavender and scarlet. They were the ones laughing quietly. Gir hopped up to stand on his pair of tiny silver legs, and they stopped laughing, looking slightly shocked that he actually worked. Gir's bright red eyes found a third figure standing in front of him, who was much, much shorter than the other two, and had pinkish-ruby eyes in contrast to the red and purple colors of the tall figures. Something registered among the junk in Gir's head, that this figure was his master, the one whom he was being assigned to.

"Gir, reporting for duty!" announced the android.

" 'Gir'? What does the 'G' stand for?" questioned the small figure.

Gir's eyes faded to cyan quickly, and spoke up in a tiny, squeaky voice, "I don't know!"

His master eyed him with dubiousness. Gir knew he had to impress him somehow.

"WHEE-HEE-HEE-HOO! WHOO-HOO-HEE-HOO!" Gir started banging the sides of his head repeatedly with an insane grin on his face.

"Um... Is it supposed to be...stupid?" asked his master, pointing at the robot and looking up at the two tall ones with a hint of disappointment in his eyes.

The one dressed in lavender chuckled again before speaking up in high-pitched voice. "It's not stupid, it's _advanced_!"

They started giggling again as the ruby eyes of the tiny figure lit up.

"Ah, I see that now! He _is_ a piece of developed technology, I understand that... Come, Gir, let us be off! Farewell, My Tallest, I will make sure to alert you when I reach my destination!" He saluted.

"Sure, you will, Zim. We'll be anxiously awaiting your...c-call..." answered the tall one with red eyes, as the one with purple let his face fall into his claws while he sniggered madly.

Zim smiled and gave them a nod, then picked up Gir by the antenna and started dragging him off.

* * *

Where was Master? Gir wasn't sure. He said he was going out somewhere and that Gir was supposed to protect the base...

The SIR unit knew that he shouldn't have expected Master to remember today very much, he was busy all the time. He was always making lots of really smart plans that went 'splodey sometimes, or was playing with big-head Mary, or calling the Tall-guys, who really liked his plans. They always laughed so hard about them!

Gir looked at the front door again. When was Master coming back? Gir hoped that he could remind Master of his birthday. Then they could celebrate it together!

But Master had been gone awhile...

"Minimoose? When do you think that Master's coming back?" asked Gir, looking up at the floating purple moose, who was next to the couch.

"Squeak!"

Gir nodded with a small sigh. "Do you think that he remembered?"

Minimoose squeaked in a rather melancholy tone.

"But... Maybe he _still_ does..." Half of Gir still hoped that Master knew. But- Maybe someone else did!

"Minimoose, maybe I can call the Tall-guys and they'll remember it's my birthday!"

"Squeak-squeak!'

"Thanks, Minimoose!" giggled Gir, hopping down from the couch. He ran into the kitchen and jumped into one of the elevators. He remembered one time that Master had called the Tall-guys...

* * *

Gir was watching the Scary Munkey Show up in the house-level while eating waffles with corn. It was his favorite! He could hear Master talking to the Tall-guys downstairs over the Munkey's occasional growling.

"So... You're saying the humans are tall... Yet...dumb?" questioned Tallest Red. "How is that even POSSIBLE! I mean, how can anything _tall_ be _dumb_?"

"Yeah! Huh? Huh? Huh?" demanded Tallest Purple. He gave a snicker. "Oh, can you imagine- Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?"

"I assure you..." Zim's voice was drowned out above by the sound of the doorbell, which cause Gir to suddenly scream with laughter and dump the plate of waffles and corn on his head.

"GIR!" rang out Zim's voice, coming through a speaker in the ceiling.

"Ooh! Master's callin' me!" squealed Gir, hopping down from the couch and crossing to the other side of the room where a chute was open and waiting.

Gir was dropped face-first onto the floor of the communications room.

"Gir! Remember with your brains! You're supposed to act like a NORMAL human dog-monster! Do you understand?" spoke up Zim.

Gir looked up at his Master with a goofy smile. "I REALLY don't!"

"Gir!" Zim laughed nervously, glancing back at the Tallest as if Gir was making him look back. "Human dogs don't speak!"

"Ohhh!" Gir twirled his arms around in circles.

"Now go answer the door," ordered Zim shortly.

Gir made several grunts and shrieks, sounding rather like a monkey before he ran off.

* * *

Gir reached the communications room, and ran over to the huge screen and keyboard. He tapped some buttons that he remembered Master pressing eagerly.

After a moment, the screen became clear.

"What in Miyuki's name do you want THIS time, Zim! It hasn't even been two days!" moaned Red, leaning back in his chair.

"Wait, that's not Zim." Purple eyed the screen in confusion. "That's his stupid SIR unit. What on Irk's it doing calling _us_?"

"HAI!" Gir waved ecstatically, a smile on his face. "Do you know what day it is!"

"Well, it's Tuesday, isn't it? Oh, wait, no, yesterday was Tuesday, it's- Ow." Purple scowled at Red, who had tugged on his antennae.

"Er, why are you calling us?" questioned Red.

"It's my BIRTHDAAAAY!" sang Gir, throwing his tiny metal arms in the air.

The Tallest glanced at each other quizzically, before Gir spoke up again. "Master's out somewhere and I don't think he remembered, so I called YOU! Minimoose said it was a good idea! So, I'm wantin' an ice cream cooone... And a birthday cake, and a table of CHEESE! With a CHAIR! And four balls of yarn! Then we'll dance together and have a party! Then we'll eat glue and throw up confetti!" Gir burst into a giggling fit and fell off the chair.

"Um... Oookaay...?" said Purple.

"Shut it off," Red ordered to a technician.

"OOH! And then we'll play with cows!" Gir jumped up and let his face fill the screen. "Cows are my friends," he whispered, still grinning moronically. And it looked rather terrifying, along with the creepy murmuring.

"I SAID shut it off!" snarled Red, after shaking his head and blinking. Purple had shrank back slightly, his antennae flattening against his head.

The technician had already begun pressing buttons, trying to rid the system of the pest. Zim had made his transmissions harder to shut off lately; making the codes more complicated and such so the Tallest wouldn't be able to get rid of him so abruptly each time.

"I'm trying, sir, it won't-"

"NOW!"

"WAIT! I forgot to say that I wanted some mongoose friends to come to the party!" said Gir, bouncing up and down on top of the chair. "I WANTS THEM THEEERRREEE!"

The technician finally managed to shut it off. Gir's face fell when he saw the screen going dark. He slumped back against the chair.

Master and the Tall-guys didn't remember... Who else would?

OH! Maybe MARY would! That was a good idea! Gir squealed happily and hopped off the chair. He ran to a lift to get up to the house level.

When he reached it, he pulled on his doggy-suit and ran to the door.

"Tell Stacey I'll be back soon, Minimoose!" he waved.

"Squeak!"

Gir ran outside, hoping he could remember where Mary-Dibby's house was. He remembered one time where Master was playing with Dib, and Gir had so many piggies to play with himself!

* * *

Gir looked up from playing with his piggy to see Master's new machine. Wow, it looked so COOL!

"WHAT IS IT!" Gir wanted to know.

"A hunter-destroy-" Zim started to explain.

"WHAT IS IT!"

"A hunter-destroy-"

"_WHAT IS IT!_"

Zim was silent for a moment, scowling at Gir, before he spoke up again.

"A hunter-destroyer machine, programmed to target the Earth boy in the past, to insure that he will not be a problem to us in the present!"

Gir cocked his head, confused as he realized something, which rarely happened. "Wait, if you destroyed Dib in the past, then he won't ever be your enemy, then you won't have to send a robot back to destroy him, and then he will be your enemy so you _will have to send a robot back_-"

Gir's head promptly exploded from all the thinking and too many illogical things circulating around among his nuts and bolts.

* * *

"I loves goin' 'SPLODEY!" sang Gir, skipping up the front walk to Dib's house. He knocked on the door hard.

A few moments later, it was opened by a very large-headed boy wearing a trench-coat and glasses. Although Gir kept knocking and hitting the boy's head.

"Ow, ow, ow! Stop that!" Dib smacked Gir's arm away, then he cocked his head, puzzled. "Hey, aren't you Zim's creepy robot-dog-thingy? What are you doing here?"

Gir nodded quickly. "Yeah-HUH! Ya know what day it is, Dibby?"

"Um, Tuesday-"

Gir gasped. "That's what the Tall-guys said! You must be bestest friends! Did they tell you where they went for Valentine's daaaay? They ate fish. I LIKE FISH."

"...why are you here? Is this some stupid plan of Zim's to get me over to his house or something?"

"It's my BIRTHDAY! Didn't you REMEMBER?"

"No... Can you go away now?"

"But it's my birthday! Doncha' wanna cel-ee-brate it with meee?"

"No! Go away!" Dib slammed the door shut.

Gir stared at the door for about two minutes, before sighing and starting to trudge off.

Did anyone remember? Well, Minimoose did... But... He wished that Master would. He wanted them to celebrate it together.

He remembered one time where he was with Master, and he was all excited about something that he'd gotten from the Tall-guys. They were having so much fun together!

* * *

Gir was swimming through the sea of packing-peanuts, having quite a lot of fun while his Master looked up at his new gift.

"The MegaDoomer, Gir!" announced Zim, snatching Gir by the ear of his doggy-suit as he swam past. "The most powerful stealth robot in the Irken Military." Zim dropped the robot again. "Built by conquered Vort scientists, actually. They're _filthy_."

Gir happily hugged one of the 'legs' of the MegaDoomer. "It's got _chicken legs_..." he spoke up wistfully.

"Yes, chicken legs," agreed Zim with a devious grin. "It also possesses a new generation-distortion cloaking system. You know what that means?"

"Ooooooh..." Gir said, before spazzing out madly, with a scream of, "WAAAUHH-HOOOOO!"

"That means it turns invisible!" Zim told him, frowning.

"I had no ideaaa..." admitted Gir. Zim hopped onto his head and Gir's jet-feet activated as the robot lifted Zim to the top of the MegaDoomer.

"It's a bit much, but I will use it to annihilate the DIB!" said Zim, jumping into the cockpit.

"I'm floatin'!" remarked Gir.

* * *

Gir came through the front door and looked up at Minimoose. "He didn't wanna celebrate it, Minimoose..." Gir sniffled.

"Squeak..." Minimoose looked rather concerned (well, concerned for him) as Gir went to sit back down on the couch.

"The Tall-guys won't... Mary won't... Not even Master..." Gir hopped back off the couch and went into the kitchen. He came back out a second later, carrying a plate of waffles that he'd hoped to share with Master. He'd put ice cream on it, too, which had melted ans was dripping off the plate. He'd stuck a small birthday candle in them as well.

Gir used a laser from inside his head to light it after trying sticking it inside the melted ice cream, and torched his tiny sliver claw along with it. He stuck the candle inside the waffles and sniffed again. He sang something he'd seen on TV.

"Haaa-ppy biiirth-daaay tooo meee..."

He sniffed again. And again.

He'd only felt like this a few other times, like when Master and him were out walking, and his cupcake...

* * *

"Okay, I think I've had enough of these... Stink...people...things... For today. So turn your guidance chip on and lead the way to home!" Zim told Gir.

Gir blinked at him, before pointing upwards.

Zim chuckled once before admonishing the android. "No. No, Gir, not Irk. I meant our home base, here on Earth."

Gir paused, then pointed at the ground.

"Our HOUSE, Gir! Which direction is out HOUSE!" demanded Zim.

"Um, that way," decided Gir, pointing in a random direction. "Oh, wait, no, um... It's over there!"

"How could you not _know_? I just upgraded your guidance system!" Zim said in disbelief.

"Oh, I left that at home," replied Gir.

Zim's contact-lenses-clad eyes narrowed. "You left what at home?"

"The guidy- Chippy- Thingy!" explained Gir.

"Wha- WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!"

"To make room for the cupcake!" Gir unzipped his costume and pulled a cupcake from his head, then started chowing down on it as fast as he could.

"How could you DO this! You've left us stranded in the middle of enemy territory, surrounded by HUMANS!" yelled Zim.

Gir's eyes started filling with tears, looking up at his Master dejectedly.

Zim almost softened somewhat, biting his lip.

"Well... Er, I can see you understand your mistake, Gir, and me being angry will get us no closer to home. I'll just have to use my innate Invader surviving skills to get us out of here." Zim glanced around, and spotted a trash can. He hopped in it, apparently searching for something. "See, Gir? The Almighty Tallest did not place their trust in me for no reason."

"Oh... I miss you, cupcake..." sniffled Gir, looking at his empty wrapper.

* * *

"I miss you, Master... But it's my birthday, why can't you be home?" Gir didn't really want to eat his waffles. He didn't feel like it.

No one remembered his birthday...

The door opened then. Gir didn't notice, he was still looking down at the floor as he sniffled.

"Argh- These stupid-" grunted a voice. "Gir, what are you doing?"

Gir looked up.

"Hi, Master..." The SIR unit looked back down at the floor.

Zim looked at him with curiosity and dubiousness before kicking the door shut again. "What is wrong with you?"

"No one... 'Membered... My birthday... Not even you, Master..."

"What are you talking about! I've been out in the filthy stores for several hideous minutes purchasing these ridiculous items for you!" snapped Zim. He started for the kitchen and dumped the things in his arms down on the table.

Gir followed him, his cyan eyes growing wide as he saw the cake, balloons, stuffed monkey, and rubber piggy on the table.

"What's these for?"

Zim rolled his eyes and huffed, folding his arms across his chest. "For your BIRTHDAY, Gir. I researched this and purchased these items for you because you kept going on about it and wouldn't make SILENCE- GAH!"

Gir had leaped at Zim, grabbing him in a hug. "You REMEMBERED, Master! YOU 'MEMBERED!"

"Yes, yes, I did, now release me! This moment!" growled Zim.

"Okay!" Gir went over to the table and grabbed two party hats. He snapped one over his own head, and then Zim's.

"We're gunna have a PARTY!" cried Gir.

Zim rolled his eyes. "I suppose we are, Gir."

Gir laughed, snatching a piece of cake and stuffing it in his mouth.

Someone HAD remembered today... And it was the person he wanted most to spend it with!


End file.
